Entries by tootsiepop

I’ve found my voice to write again

This is how I feel..


Hear and watch Jamie Lucas Scott sing this.. its adorable

Here’s the full version.. I’m into the ending, cuz I’m not anyone’s son.. :)

When I turned 16 – “Just Can’t fight this feeling any longer”

Being 16 is an interesting age.  I invited three people to my house.  Jenny and her bf and Anthony Patton.  I wanted a cozy couple type environment. I was blessed and happy that Anthony showed up.  But, Anthony never wanted more than to be my friend.  Poor guy put in the middle of this uncomfortable situation.  I have a pic of him sitting on the floor below the stereo. I just stood around with no where to be. Very awkward just leaving 15 years old, the day before.


He showed up.  It meant everything to me.  He is my friend, still, today.  I’m forever happy about this.


I love you, still. Just differently.  I bought that 45 just for you..  and now you know.

When did I lose me?

I cut off all my hair. I can donate it, its that much.

It grew out a little, to lose its shape but there was no way I’m cutting it shorter.

Now I’ve permed it and it looks like a poodle pooped on my head.

No pictures. End of story.

Therapy blues

I haven’t been going to my weekly therapy appointments.  I just haven’t had the inclination to do the homework.

I’ve decided to go back, as if I have a choice.. but if I go back, I wish to find some inspiration for what I started writing here.  I don’t know if it will work out but it could, also, be a $10 miracle visit, too.  We’ll see how it goes.

I’m not sure who to trust when I’m mentally challenged. I don’t want a record. I just want a history to write. I want to be  writer and I think I have it in me to share my stories. I just get caught up in the nothingness of the everyday, as  a disabled woman holding down the couch, excessively.

I’m tired of the pain. I want it to stop. I think my doctors can do something more than they are doing. But I must be patient and do it all their way.  I’m not happy about that.

I guess I’m not in my write mind to find the memories to write about today.  Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.